Sunday, March 17, 2013

My Wild and Precious life



Answering Mary Oliver


I will dance tenderly to the ecstatic energy of birth sounds,
a low moan will sink me down to the hips, I will hold and squeeze
a scared whimper will call my arms around, I will hold and whisper

I was born to bear witness to the wild and precious sermons
of the mother tongue

I was born to bare my heart and hands as something stirs inside of them
and wildly turns them into precious deities. 

I was born to bear witness to the wild and precious prayer
of mothers pushing. 

I was born to bare down with them as life pushes through them,
birthing wild things and precious love.

Who are you? I ask as she slips through- her first breath a prayer-
and what is it that you plan to do?

Who are you? I ask as he slips through- his first breath a prayer-
and what is it that you plan to do?

I will ask this question a thousand times this life time,
and watch little prayers unfold into this one life time;
Each of them, as wild and precious as the next, and the one before.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Call the Midwife





"You made Mrs. Mckenzie feel safe.  That's the mark of a good nurse- a midwife too; the rest is just mechanics." - Dr. Turner to Chummy


Cripes!  Why hadn't anyone told me about this show before?  I came across it while browsing for childbirth documentaries on Netflix.  Although it a dramatized show,I wondered if it   might be helpful to my study in some way and decided to give it a try.  I'm glad I did!  I've been stuck in bed for a few days with an awful cold and exhaustion, this show was a welcome reprieve from the text and documentaries I was taking in between naps. 

Call the Midwife is a BBC show based on the memoirs of the late midwife, Jennifer Worth.  The series starts out with Jenny's arrival at the Nonnatus house in 1957.  Believing that she has accepted a placement in a small private hospital, Jenny is surprised to find her self moving into a convent and serving the devastatingly poor East End of London.  I'm only 3 episodes in, but it is very good- gritty, realistic

While I am watching this series, I am also gathering fantastic insights and quotes for the essay I am working on regarding feminsim and servitude.  This is a good one:

"I thought I deserved all manner of medals," a fellow midwife, Trixie tells Jenny in the first episode"... but then I realized I didn't deserve any medles at all.  The mothers are the brave ones... they're the heroins; I'm just here to help." 

That's pretty much the crux of what I'm trying to get at with my feminist/servant schpeel.  It's about helping to raise women up, by placing yourself below them.  Empowerment through humbleness.  I'm trying to get to these thoughts while working my way through this sickness, and am so thankful to have found this show to help me along!  I can't wait to dig into the books! 

Monday, March 4, 2013

Cut it Out: Designer Births at a Cost





Preface

 I started this paper with a completely different angle, in which I would talk about the main issues of childbirth in the US, and what I could do about it as an activist.   I struggled with the problem that I frequently have which is that there is just too much to say.  My mind starts to explode a little as I have more opinions and new insights or remember something I want to remember to add.  In a way, I feel lucky that there isn’t much of a limit to access of information.  It seems that in the last ten years, many studies have been conducted and many opinions have been formed about the state of birth in the United States and the rest of the world.  However, when writing a paper that is not an actual book, I struggle with what to leave out.  I’ve tried my best to attend to other areas, but I ended up “picking on” cesarean births a lot in this paper. Mainly, it’s because it’s the ultimate intervention- also the one with the most studies and the most opinions. I find it particularly interesting that cesarean section has remained the most common surgery performed in the United States for the past twenty-six years and that pregnancy and birth are not (typically) a medical condition (Block, vvi).  Anyway, there’s a lot of this kind of information and fury in this essay; I try to also touch on other issues in the birth business (yes, I call it a business- what I think it is, but not what it should be), but you will find this the main in my discussion topics.





Too Posh to Push

In the beginning of the film The Business of Being Born, mothers, when asked if they would consider using a midwife, give answers that I find unsurprising, but incredibly heart breaking.  The scene behind them feels sterile and main-stream while kids and parents play at a Mommy-And-Me- esque gym.   The mothers tell us that they are more comfortable with the doctor aspect of hospital births, that home birth is unsafe, and, according to one mother talking about cesarean birth, “...it’s just that it’s done- it’s surgery-1,2,3, you know, so (laugh).”  But to me it’s not really a laughing matter.   I have a hard time feeling groovy about these new “Too Posh to Push” or “designer birth” attitudes; these schools of thoughts basically state a “feminist” view of a women having control of her body, having her baby when it’s convenient for her, and also avoiding stretching, tearing, or cutting of the vaginal area. 

I’m not anti-choice I just want people to make informed decisions.




 There are different ideas of what is the more feminist viewpoint on cesarean sections.  In her book, Birth: The Surprising History of How We Were Born, author and anthologist Tina Cassidy tells us that there has been back-lash from some feminists regarding attempts to limit cesareans in recent years.  She quotes a feminist in a 1998 publication of British Medical Journal who wrote about how limits on women’s rights to choose how they give birth proves that “medical and social prejudices against women sidestepping the Biblical sentence to painful childbirth are still with us” (125).  Let me tell you the ways in which I disagree with this statement.  I’m not anti-choice; I just want people to make informed decisions, which is my first issue with that Other Feminist’s P.O.V.  Far too often, women are not making informed decisions- they are echoing what they see in the media or hear from their doctors.  I’m not even sure if there has been a study to prove that statement but what I do know that I have heard so much misinformation and generalized “facts” thrown out by proponents of medical birth.  We learn from Jennifer Block in the introduction of her book, Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care, that we live in a country where 99% of all births take place in hospitals, 30.2 % of these women give birth by cesarean, yet we are second to last among thirty-three industrialized countries in the infant mortality rate, and third to last in the maternal mortality rate.   The best infant and maternal mortality outcomes are from the Netherlands, Denmark, and Sweden where obstetricians only attend high-risk pregnancies.  W.H.O. (the World Health Organization) states that women are four times more likely to die from a cesarean than a vaginal birth.

 I wonder if just knowing these statistics would change the types of “choices” women are making about how they give birth.  If you don’t know your options then you don’t have any.  So, even though I do believe that one should have reigning choices over what happens with their bodies, I also think that they owe it to themselves to know all of the options before making a decision- especially when there are lives on the line. 

 The other point in which I disagree with the Other Feminist is that she assumes that cesarean is less invasive and painful for a mother.  However, recovery time for a mother to return to her daily normal schedule will be, at the very least, double that of a woman who had a vaginal birth.  Additionally, she just had surgery.  Major Surgery.  And like most major surgeries, there is a painful recovery.  The mother’s abdomen has been cut open- through muscles and all, and a small human being was pulled from that wound, and then her belly was stapled back together.   That’s kind of a big deal and also really painful… after the drugs wear off.  So, my point is… that- Yes, I think we should have the option to choose how we give birth.  But an even bigger feminist movement is to inform ourselves about our options before we make those decisions.  Otherwise we are going to base our choices on opinions like that of this quack doctor interviewed for The Business is Being Born, who said about natural birth, “I call it feminist machoism...  when you’re pushing a stroller three months later, you know, to say I did it naturally, personally, I don’t think it’s important.”


The Price of a Short Cut 


We can all agree that sometimes medical interventions in birth are necessary and that we are lucky to live in a country where such advanced technology is available to help for the best outcomes.  Just to pull my argument against uninformed-elective cesareans further, I want to talk a little bit about the due date.   First, let’s think about the truth that “due date” is an abstract estimation.  Parents and doctors tend to fixate on the forty-week mark as an absolute finish line, often past the finish line.  Pregnancy even one day over the forty-week mark is considered “late,” and often pregnancies are induced and/ or ended in a cesarean section by thirty-eight weeks (often due to belief that the baby is getting too big and that there won’t be enough amniotic fluid, or that it won’t be able to fit through the pelvis).  The first problem with this theory is that because the due date is an estimation based on either the last menstrual period or a sonogram, these estimations can be off by two weeks or more on either side of the date.  This means that a cesarean scheduled for the mother’s thirty-eight-week mark could potentially deliver a thirty-six-week, or even younger, baby.   According to Nell Lake’s article, “Labor Interrupted: Cesareans, “cascading interventions,” and finding a sense of balance” in Harvard Magazine (December 2012),

“…they may be cut, or asphyxiate if the medical team has difficulty pulling them out. Those born by cesarean are more likely to experience respiratory distress and, later, to have asthma; controlled studies have found increased rates of obesity among American babies born this way. The fetus of a mother who’s already had one cesarean also seems to be at increased risk because it faces greater danger when growing in a uterus with a surgical scar.”

There are many other studies out there that show that a cesarean birth, besides being risky for both the mother and the baby, have additional emotional and psychological side effects.  These studies show us that bonding between a mother and baby is harder and takes more time and effort after a cesarean. Dr. Michael Odent (an influential and well respected obstetrician and proponent of natural birth) has been quoted in many birth books and videos talking  about why this is true.  Here he is quoted by an online British magazine The Daily Mail.  The quote comes from a talk he was given in Cambridge:

Oxytocin is the hormone of love, and to give birth without releasing this complex cocktail of love chemicals disturbs the first contact between the mother and the baby. The hormone is produced during sex and breastfeeding, as well as birth, but in the moments after birth, a woman's oxytocin level is the highest it will ever be in her life, and this peak is vital. It is this hormone flood that enables a woman to fall in love with her newborn and forget the pain of birth…What we can say for sure is that when a woman gives birth with a pre-labor Caesarean section she does not release this flow of love hormones, so she is a different woman than if she had given birth naturally and the first contact between mother and baby is different.

What is also disrupted from the block of oxytocin and bonding time is breastfeeding.  Mothers who have a cesarean generally have a harder time breastfeeding than mothers who give birth vaginally.

None of this is to say that women who have cesarean births do not bond with their babies or breastfeed successfully; it is to say that a cesarean makes every part about recovering, getting to know your baby, and figuring out this “mom thing” a lot more difficult. 

Like I said earlier- I am so glad that we have the option; sometimes it is necessary and a true blessing.  However, when used superfluously, cesareans, though they probably won’t kill you, cause a longer and more painful recovery, and a harder transition with your new baby.   The post-partum and new mom thing is hard enough- do we really need to make it more difficult? 



Works Cited:



The Business of Being Born. Dir. Abby Epstein.  New Line.  2008. Film

Block, J. (2007). Pushed: The painful truth about childbirth and modern maternity care. Cambridge, MA: Da Capo Lifelong.

Cassidy, T. (2006). Birth: The surprising history of how we are born. New York: Atlantic Monthly Press.

Cook, Emily “Women Who Have Cesareans ‘Less Likely to Bond”. The DailyMail. July 13, 2006.  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-395218

Lake, Nell “ Labor Interrupted: Cesareans, “cascading interventions,” and finding a sense of balance.” Harvard Magazine December 2012.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Travail en Cours

I'm in the midst of writing an essay on The Seeds of Change and a reader review on the Red Tent.  I'm not going to finish them tonight as I had thought ( Sorry, Robin).  HOWEVER.  I'm excited about the progress with both.  In my reader review, I decided to expalin three of the major themes of the book and introducing them by including some of my favorite quotes:



The Moon & Camaraderie
“The great mother whom we call Innana gave a gift to woman that is not known among men, and this is the secret of blood. The flow at the dark of the moon, the healing blood of the moon’s birth - to men, this is flux and distemper, bother and pain. They imagine we suffer and consider themselves lucky. We do not disabuse them.
In the red tent, the truth is known. In the red tent, where days pass like a gentle stream, as the gift of Innana courses through us, cleansing the body of last month’s death, preparing the body to receive the new month’s life, women give thanks — for repose and restoration, for the knowledge that life comes from between our legs, and that life costs blood.”
Childbirth:
“Why had no one told me that my body would become a battlefield, a sacrifice, a test? Why did I not know that birth is the pinnacle where women discover the courage to become mothers?”
Storytelling:
“It is terrible how much has been forgotten, which is why, I suppose, remembering seems a holy thing.”

I also had this thought I wanted to throw out to the universe, but not include in my essay: 


Is it passé to love Anita Diamont’s, The Red Tent?   Probably.  Do I care?  No.  Well, yes- a little maybe.   Don’t you hate those moments when you realize that Shit, I do care what people think about me?  As trendsetting and cliquey as our country is, we somehow idolize the idea of individuality.  That is why as soon as something becomes mainstream, then we begin to lose interest. It’s all very confusing and ironic (Irony is still cool, as far as I can tell, but people are beginning to catch on.  Soon everyone is going to start being very sincere and then things will get very uncomfortable for some of us… ehem.)

My essay is full of current statics of birth in the U.S and lots of  insights about how I can use my  passion, drive for change, and knowledge to be not only an attending midwife, but as an activist.

Anyway... it's going swimmingly, but I'm tired.  I have to work an unexpected full day tomorrow and am already having a hard time keeping my eyes open.  However, please stay tuned, as both review and essay will be posted here when I am finished.

Bon Nuit. 

 

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Sometimes, you need a stiff drink to do your homework.  Sometimes, if your lucky, that drink is a dillitini.  Long exhale.

I was able to find the irony in this weekend.  This weeked was suppose to look like me with the whole house to myself, doing tons of homework, with a couple snowshoe breaks and possibly a visit to my sweetheart.

The thing about being a midwife, is that you can never have solid plans, as long as you have mothers heavy with child waiting in the wing.  I am not currently attending any clients, as a midwife or doula, however, many of my close people seem to be pregnant in someway.  With anxiety, with doubt, with fear, with antisipation, with love, etc... with life, really.  And it is the dark time of year.  True, the days are getting longer, but when the corners are so dark, the longer days seem daunting.

Vermonters are suffering from a lack of sunlight, fresh air, and reprieve.  Our vitimin D is rock bottom, and chances are, especailly if you are a women, your B is pretty darn low too.  On top of that, unless you eat a case of clemintines a day, you're also lacking in immune-boosting vitamin C.  In otherwords, we are all sick and depressed.

Sometimes what can happen is all that deficinacy piles up-  nutritional, spiritual, and emotinal, and comes tumbling down at once.  Often, that happens like a bad storm, as if one sharp wind blows the whole town down.  That is what happened this weekend.

The thing about being a midwife is that means that you are a servant.  And as proud as I am, I am balanced in the acceptance that with the honor comes a humbleness.    I went through this weekend, spending time and much love with friends who truly needed it.  The thing is, as frustrated as I was, I also felt completely honored to help each of my friends through their struggles. It was an enlightening moment when I was chopping up leeks for soup, that I realized how satisfied I felt.  I wasn't angry in that moment... I was helping.

I like being both a strong feminist and a chosen servant.  It is a good place to be.

Now, how do I do all that and be a good student?

No updates on my studies tonight.  I'm doing my best.  Next week is a residency weekend with a big packet due, so likely you won't hear from me until after that.

In the meantime, a friend birthed her second daughter today.  This is for Opal:


Monday, February 4, 2013

The Science of Humans Being. ... An Introduction AND Update on my Study

It's been a slow start to a new study, but it's happening.  Ironically, just as birth is often interrupted by technology, so is my study.  I was hoping a shiny new Kindle would be a money saver in this endeavor, but it ended up costing me a lot of frustration and time.  It turns out that you can only read Kindle- bought e-books on your Kindle, but not the free e-books provided by school.  That sucks, and I should have figured it out before jumping in.  It turned out that I didn't really love the Kindle anyway, so returning it was not heartbreaking.  However, now I have to catch up... I was really hoping to advert that process in this study.  I am remaining optimistic, however; it is so different studying something that you feel passionate about rather than the mundane because it doesn't seem like a chore.   Because I am doing an independent study, it is permissible to change the plan and reroute my bibliography.  Still, I have to read 16 books and write 32 pages by the end of my study.  The writing is never a problem; I'm primordially a word person.  The reading is more of a problem, as much as I love to devour the books, I am saddled with the obstacle of dyslexia, which means that it takes me longer than I would like to eat my way through the literature.

So, while I reevaluate my bibliography and place orders with Amazon, I kept forward by heading to the local libraries' (unsurprisingly) sparse pregnancy and birth collection.  This collection is aimed mainly at expecting parents, with books about making informed decisions, what to expect, and naming your child.  I found one of my books on my Bibliography, Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care by Jennifer Block. I also came across a book called Birth and subtitled The Surprising History of How We are Born.  This is by Tina Cassidy, an unfamiliar name.  I am unsure if I will include this in my study, but the title is auspiciously apropos to my study, An Anthropology to Childbirth.  The title of my study was chosen offhandedly, but appropriately reflects the basics of what I'm getting at.

My plan is to look into three basic areas of the root of childbirth: history, politics, and stories. They all are incredibly intertwined, in a way that is sometimes uncomfortable and blatantly horrifying.  And... well, the and is the most important part.  Because the "and" of a sentence replaces the "but", which means that there is hope.  Our history tells us that the birth scene has been a mess for a long time, the politics are directly related to Capitalism, and the stories give us a human insight to what's really going on, once you cut out the bureaucratic bullshit.  I am interested in cutting out the bureaucratic bullshit.

The third book I borrowed from the library is The Red Tent by Anita Diamont.    This is an ironic borrow because I have bought this book at least three times, but, like a good book should, it always ends up not returned.  I'm okay with that.  I hope it's story will evoke and inspire it's readers.  I will not go into a review of the book here, but I will indicate quite clearly that I believe that it is an incredibly important piece of literature that everyone should investigate- not just women.  I have read it several times, but not in a few years.  The reason why I included it in my study is because it really gets at the reason why telling our story, and specifically women telling their stories, is important.  History is important, but His Story is not the only story.  For too long, stories have been based on his prospective. Even now, in this modern age, the female voice, unless in a masculine manner, is primordially that of belong to the male species.  I'd like to take a short breath here to explain that I am not a man-hater, rather an observer of privileged and truth.  I also am strongly aware of this fact: whenever I am in a situation where I tell another women about being a doula or studying midwifery, they tell me their birth story; it doesn't matter if we are inline at a grocery store or in a parking lot-  this becomes the most important focus.  And I always hold the space- because I know they deserve to be heard, and because it is so imperative that I hear them.   I have always taken this as it is-  not for granted, not at all; holding space for a birth story is a blessing, not a burden.  However, I am now interested in investigating further the whys and hows of birth stories.  Why do we need to tell them?  How does that affect the Order of Things?  How does the Order of Things affect our birth stories? This, is anthropology, and this is how my study was named- it means the science of human beings.  To me, I read : the Science of Humans Being. 

I should end this post before I degrees further.  I am excited to investigate my two new books.  The Red Tent will be my fun reading for my study; my bed time buddy, my muse.  I met with a midwife a few weeks ago who made fun of the eager want-to-be apprentices who stated the reason they wanted to be a midwife was because they read The Red Tent.  I understand the joke which reflects upon how one romanticizes the midwifery career. While the work is  gorgeous and inspirational, it can also be amazingly exhausting, hard, and frightening.  I hear that and I know that.  And I know that there are reasons why it's a good story and that there is truth in there.  I do sometimes roll my eyes at myself, at how I am able to stay so fluttery about birth after working in it's long hard hours, but it is because I also understand deeply the calling.  Even if the women who are inspired to midwifery by the reading the novel are not actually meant to be midwives, I honor them:  they are simply answering the call to the stirring in their bones that sings to being a women... a song that has seeped through generations and is rooted deeply in our original mother.  So, bless them, and bless all of us, for we are stirring, which means that we are paying attention.  Which means we are Being... human. 


I'm investingating birth stories... sometimes, there are no words